Mid of June

Dear diary,

It's already mid of June. 

I'm still waiting for the reply whether I pass my interview or not. 

But somehow.... from the deep of my heart,'I wish I failed the interview'.
The longer I stay in my hometown with my family, I don't feel like leaving my hometown.
I feel like staying here until December.
I know I'm too greedy.
I know I shouldn't think of that, but sorry...
I know my boyfriend will think that I am wasting my time.
Yes, i know. Indeed.
Everyday wake up from the bed, accomp parents for breakfast, jogging etc. same routine everyday but I am really happy b'cuz my family is with me.
I know time is gold.
And today I asked my dad:
'HOW IF I DIDN'T PASS MY INTERVIEW'
and he answered me:
'No how, then just follow us go travel on August, accompany papa until December cuz I wont able to see you the next whole year'

I don't know what to say.
I don't know why but recently when I think of I'm am leaving soon on July (maybe), I started to cry.
I become weak when the day turns dark, especially during midnight.
I think of my parents, family and my boyfriend.
You will never ever know how amazing it is when you receive the call from your loved one every night before you go to bed.
I scare if I really get my internship in Maldives, I can't come back here but have to straight fly back to Switzerland. They want me to work until January. That is not my plan thou.

I don't know what to do now.
I just hope my bf don't mad at me when he sees this post.